Monday, October 17, 2016

A Miscarriage Momento

I want to say I thought long and hard on how to remember the life we lost, but that would be a lie.

 The weekend I was miscarrying, I had friends visiting.  We went to visit the Santa Clause House in North Pole (I live in Alaska, it's a thing you do even in July), and I found something perfect to remember him by.  A small, delicate star, carved out of a birch burr.  As soon as I entered the store I knew I would find something there.  Christmas is my all time favorite holiday, and as soon as I found I was pregnant, I started planning Christmas with the little one.  All the fun things we would do and the memories we would make.  It was a no-brainer that a Christmas ornament was the right thing for me as a memento.

Now that we are trying again, I'm thinking a lot about that little birch star.  I remember how smooth and friendly it felt in my hand when I first got it.  I remember how pretty it was.  I remember how Alaskan it was.  We've always joked that by having kids up here we'll be making sure (as if you can make sure of anything regarding children) that they would be Alaska tough.  So it was just perfect, or as perfect as a memento of such a tragedy can be.  Now, I wonder if I'll be buying a second one before Christmas...

I've been reading a bit about rainbow babies, and the stress you feel after a miscarriage.  I truly appreciate it now.  I'm in my TWW for the first time since the miscarriage, and I'm alternating between being excited, trying not to get my hopes up, and worrying that it will all go wrong.

I did a little research into what other women have done to remember their unborn child.
If you are looking for something of your own, here are some popular ways to remember:


Rings, necklaces, and bracelets are all popular ways to remember a lost child.  Some are homemade, while others are store bought.  I noticed a lot of pink and blue, as well as angel wings.  They are a beautiful way of holding your loss near you, but allowing you to choose which days you will have your momento with you.  If this interests you, there are many wonderful and classy jewelry pieces to choose from:
Military Mama Musings -  Miscarriage Remembrance Jewelry

Etsy Mommy of an Angel Necklace
DIY Believe washer necklace
Pink and Blue pregnancy loss awareness
Miscarriage Affirmation Bracelet
Angel Wing Ring
Born unto heaven footprint


For those women (or men, after all, a pregnancy loss can affect both parents) who want something permanent, there are quite a few beautiful tattoo ideas to remember a pregnancy by.

Military Mama Musings - Miscarriage Remembrance Tattoos
Miscarriage Tattoo Gallery 


Many people decorate their home with little statuettes and knick knacks.  If this is your style, there are beautiful and tear-jerking objects available to help you remember a pregnancy.

Military Mama Musings - Miscarriage Remembrance StatuettesMiscarriage Memorial Stone
Baby Angel
Willow Tree Guardian
Precious Moments (Discontinued, but wonderful)

Christmas Ornaments

Like me, many people find the holidays to be the right time to remember.  In addition to simply going out and finding an ornament that speaks to you, like I did, there are many ornaments available specifically to remember a pregnancy.  They are both sad and wonderful.  Some of these are meant for adoption, but I think they are perfect for miscarriage too.

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